I will never fully understand some things with my mind. That is a fact that I have come to accept. Some things I only understand with my heart, and even then, my heart may not have the words to express this understanding save it uses action.
There are things I cannot fully dissect and get to the core to find something that does not need further dissection. How can I exhaustively dissect grace? Or love? Or mercy? Just when I think I’ve grasped either I am presented with a situation that requires me to learn something new, only to realize that there’s so much I did not and still do not know. The only way I know more is to keep learning and positioning myself at the feet of the Master; a faithful student who knows that at the core of these is The Master so only He can teach me to muster the courage and patience to master His heart regarding these matters.
I used to wonder how God could forgive the wretchedness of man over and over again without holding it against him; how He could separate us from our sin as far as the east is from the west; how He could throw our sin in the sea of forgetfulness knowing full well our future and how we would probably repeat the same thing or even a different thing that was still sin. It didn’t make ‘head’ sense. So time and time again my head sensed this and nudged me to do a ‘good work’ here, a ‘selfless deed’ there to buy back my right standing with God before He could ‘fully’ restore and forgive me. The interesting thing is that the need to ‘earn’ back your place only kicks in when you have committed ‘big sins’. You know? When you have stolen a lot of money, smoked, gone drinking, fornicated, watched pornography, etc….. Those ‘big sins’….. But not when you’ve lied, started or taken part in spreading a rumor about someone, disobeyed your parent….. You know? Not those ‘small sins’; those ones don’t need penance, you can be forgiven directly. But for the ‘big ones’, direct forgiveness must be pushing your luck! You also need to put some effort on your part, you know?
But has not the bible showed us that there is no ‘greater’ sin?
For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and offend in one point, he is guilty of all. (KJV)
Has not The Word assured us of forgiveness for all things if we seek it?
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV)
Have I not been freed for grace? Why then would I try so hard to enslave myself to works which at best are filthy rags?
And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work. (KJV)
I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. (ESV)
Only meditating on the truth of God’s Word could allow me to accept forgiveness for anything readily and without developing a feeling of entitlement or a lackluster approach to grace. Only the echoes of these truths could transform me by renewing my mind to stop making ‘sense’ out of ‘earning’ forgiveness and realize that Christ’s death on the cross was exactly for this. To try to do anything more would imply that His blood was not enough. Selah.
And with that I got to learn about mercy. A mercy is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him (Psalms 103:17, KJV). That the bounds of his mercy are never ending. Mathematicians or anyone who has ever taken calculus can picture the magnitude of that statement; that both the upper and the lower bound of his mercy is everlasting, never ending, positive infinity on both sides. Furthermore, these same mercies that never come to an end are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22&23) They are not recycled, they are not old, stale or overused, they are fresh; like the morning dew or like fresh manna with each rising of the sun.
I got to picture my life without this mercy and saw that I would have none – no breath, no purpose, no redemption, no reason. I would have everything I deserve, which is not as rosy as it sounds; because I deserve hell as a consequence of my human nature. But God, in His loving kindness came for me. So I have life and I have it in abundance solely by His mercy.
Do I know everything about mercy? Far from it. But I hope that if I continue to sit at The Master’s feet, He will teach me to muster the courage and patience to master His heart regarding this matter.
What do I know about mercy?
What do I know about her save that she is always present?/
A present of presence that sets precedence over my imperfect being/
Seeing that I’m flawed and often floored by my response to sin/
Seen in the shortcomings and long overdue victories over habits that I should have binned/
Stories of what is and what should have been/
Lies, lust, last calls in bar crawls, pride and trite pursuits/
Going round in fruitless circuits/
So what do I know about mercy save that she has kept me from reaping the fruits of my imperfect nature/
From being overpowered and dominated by the grim reaper./
How do I know mercy except I contrast her with a created creature? /
A tall order for a man who falls short of the high standard, you can say he’s short in stature/
Who no matter how hard he works will still have some failure on account of his innate nature/
A product of his lineage, an inherent feature/
How do I know mercy except I tie her to hope and faith?/
A constant deliverer every time the deceiver leaves me bait/
The north on my compass whenever I feel like going insane/
Leading me away from the edge and bringing me home/
Reminding me daily that I will find all I need at The Throne./
How do I know mercy except I find her at the feet of Jesus?/
Unless I lay at rest in the safety of His arms?/
How do I know her except I’m armed with the truth of His love?/
Unless the voice in His Word reverbs/
Echoes, resonates time and time again with the drumming of this heart though I may re-verb, revert/
Re-do what I ought not to, stray away from grace/
Instead of staying in lane and picking up the pace/
How do I know mercy save I know that I’m deserving/
Of consequences, punishment and judgment/
How do I know mercy save I know that I’m undeserving/
Of pardon, acquittal, to have a judgment-/
That frees me from condemnation and ushers me into salvation/
Because whom the Son sets free He sets free from damnation/
And places on the path to liberation/
How do I know mercy save I have a full plate-/
Buffet-ed on what the world has to offer yet still the Lord allows me to start from a clean slate./
All I know about mercy is passive/
A product of God’s love, you can call it massive/
What I know about mercy is if I paid for what I owed I’d own nothing worth having/
My works don’t work out my salvation in fear and trembling/
But His grace keeps me from fumbling/
And when I stumble His mercy keeps me from tumbling/
So when it’s required of me to overflow in the same may I not be found grumbling/
I need to know about mercy as active/
For I have received and so to others I need to give/
Extend grace and mercy to fellow brothers, share the gift.//
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (ESV)